Montréal,  4 mars 2000  /  No 57
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Scott Carpenter is a young entrepreneur living in Victoria, B.C. and the founder and editor of Liberty Free Press
by Scott Carpenter
          Subsidies. I was thinking of applying for one the other day. So I asked a friend if he thought the government of Canada would consider subsidizing a libertarian author. I figured if the Liberal party could find funds to support a dying hockey league (in Canada that is), farmers who can't compete on a local or international market (probably due to excessive tariffs and government control) and an extremely sub standard entertainment industry, that they might also be able to spare a few dollars for the cause of freedom.
          Needless to say my friend doesn't think I've got a snowball's chance in hell but what the hey; I figure nothing tried nothing gained, right? 
          Now I'm not entirely sure who to write to ask for such a thing (a subsidy that is) as the last time I looked there was no Ministry for Freedom and Capitalism (can you imagine if there was?) so I've decided that I should write directly to the head honcho himself, Jean Chretien. I just hope I spelled his name correctly. 
          So here it is... my open letter to Jean Chretien: 
Dear Mr. Chretien, 
My name is Scott Carpenter and I live in the remote northern community of Dawson Creek, BC. As you may or may not know by the rather lengthy CSIS and CCRA files on my name, I am an advocate of Freedom and Liberty and am currently publishing a modest journal on the internet called Liberty Free Press. Our mandate is to spread the concepts of freedom, individualism and capitalism to as many people as we possibly can not just in Canada but to all the previously free nations of the world. 
As you may have already guessed, the life of a freedom fighter is not to terribly lucrative and as a result I am forced to work outside of this occupation in order to make ends meet... which brings me to the reason I am writing you. 
It is my opinion that the country formerly known as Canada (and now commonly referred to as the Kollective Komradship of Kanada or Kanukistan) has been teetering for many years, on a very slippery slope that leads to despotism. I'm sure that I don't need to outline for you all the warning signs surrounding this statement; God knows there have been many. I'm also sure that you will agree that despotism is not a desirable state for any nation to enter into and as such it is imperative that we act quickly and deliberately to avoid such a problem. 
     « Mr. Chretien, you would be hailed as a national hero! People would shout your name from the rooftops and throw confetti wherever you went. » 
I believe that the situation at hand may be avoided if you were to divert some of the massive amount of money that Canadians pay in taxes each year into a subsidy for writers and activists for freedom. Just think of the effect we could have on the current course of this nation if we had this kind of funding available to us! Mr. Chretien, you would be hailed as a national hero! People would shout your name from the rooftops and throw confetti wherever you went. 
More to the point, I could quit all the other jobs I currently work at and dive into my true calling full time. You would release myself and many others like me from the bonds of responsibility and allow us to crush tyranny with the help of the taxpayer's dollar. Besides, I suspect few people would object to myself and others using their tax money to help abolish income taxes, bring back common law and create a freer and better quality of life for the average citizen. 
Now Mr. Chretien, I don't expect you to get really excited about this request straight off. In fact before you send me an answer I'd like to suggest that you sleep on it overnight. Talk with your cronies about the idea and see what they think. If they decide that they don't want to support the cause of freedom in a supposedly democratic nation then I'd suggest a quick cabinet shuffle as you obviously don't want potential dictators working this close to you. On the other hand if they support the idea then maybe we're not in as bad a shape as I thought we were, in which case I will cease to refer to the nation formerly known as Canada as Kanukistan. 

I eagerly await you reply. 

Best Regards, 
Scott Carpenter, BA 
Editor, Liberty Free Press 
Citizen and Free Man of Commoner Status 

Note: I am still awaiting a reply. 
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